There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
