Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
two words...techno handjob
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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