so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
