Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
