I wish I could teleport
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
