did you get engaged???
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
