you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
