I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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