whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
