we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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