Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
