I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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