my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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