im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize