smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
