you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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