Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
