I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
