She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
