Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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