great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize