How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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