I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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