three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
where are my eyebrows?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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