you're like a bully in the Christmas story
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
