was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
