is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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