Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
