i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
