Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
