you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
