I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
