Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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