there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize