She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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