my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
