Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
