So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize