Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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