when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
