This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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