If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
As shirtless as possible
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
