So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
