Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
