sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i came on her dog
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
