Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
