She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
