dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
