marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
