alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
