If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
