you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Randomize