so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
