Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
