his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
