Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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