Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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