it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
