Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
