My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
