my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
