do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I have aggressive nipples.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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