3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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